Day #10...June is here

 This morning I woke up feeling like I was trapped in the movie "Groundhogs Day".... Little changes each day....but there are a few I look forward to; a new nurse every 12 hours, clean sheets, Dr. updates, meals, and my family and friends coming to visit.  Today I am 31.4 weeks and happy he is still cozy and growing. The doctors tell me that for every day he stays in me, it would be two days he would have to stay in the NICU (neonatal intensive care unit). 

The doctors have been monitoring baby P and my contractions for an hour, 2x a day, which is significantly less than the 24 hour monitoring we began with. The top line is his heartbeat and activity levels. Yesterday it took the nurse 7 adjustments in an hour to track this crazy baby's movements. He is proving to be wild, just like his dad :)

My life lately has been very different. My mom described it best when she said, " You have never been a controlling person, in fact, you're just the opposite. However, you have always been extremely controlling of your environment. Your life, your decisions, your path, your faith, and your privacy. More so now that you are becoming a mother". I think this puts things in perspective for me and explains the tight grip I am trying to maintain, when it is obvious I no longer have control.
Today, the doctors told me my job right now is to "wait".... I hate this..but then it got me thinking


In my life there have been more difficult times..there will be more difficult times...and every woman has a different story when it comes to bringing their child into the world.....and this is ours :)
I am reminded to "embrace this beauty and make something of it, even if its not what I expected".





My beautiful friend Courtney from high school sent me a link to a blog that moved me beyond words. It is a blog about the "small things" in life and it touches on this unbelievable woman's birth story of her daughter who was born with special needs. A plan that she as well, was not expecting.  The link is below if you want to check it out. She wrote something that resonated deep in my heart when she said, " To be loved....is the greatest feeling one can have". This is exactly how my friends and family have made me feel.  They have been on this journey with Chris and I from the beginning and continue to amaze me with their loyalty as we persist on. This alone means more to Chris and I than we will ever be able to express. In turn, I hope I am able to support each of you in your lives as we move through this beautiful life together :) xoxoxoxo
-Jana
www.kellehampton.com